I am sitting here watching the Vikings play the Cowboys. I am actually excited because the Vikes are ahead at this point and it looks like they could possibly win. After a half game of play, we lead 17 to 3. But I can;t get that excited. I am old enough to remember all the other times the Vikings had built up my hopes and have let me down in the end. I remember how many times that the team has made it to the SuperBowl only to come away from the battle with a loss, even though everyone had such high hopes for their triumph.
Compare this to how God works on your life. It is exactly opposite, isn't it? How many times have I gone in to a particular situation knowing full well that I did not stand a chance. I did not even consider God or count on Him since I was under the impression that I was on my own. It was then that God turned things around for me and gave me victory over something I knew was going to do me in. Absolutely convinced. Why is that?
Maybe I can trace this pattern of behavior back to my childhood where I was forced to do things for my self. It was the old, 'Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, boy!" attitude that first impressed me with this. Maybe it has to do with some of the ego-oriented sense of pride I have. Maybe it has to do with the feeling that I some how don;t deserve God's blessings in my life. It is probably due in part, to a little bit of all of these. The fact remains I still struggle with this feeling, and yet I know that God really want for me to depend on HIM.
Perhaps you struggle with the same condition that I struggle with. If so, take heart! I realize the more I struggle with this, the more that God makes himself real in my life and the more confidence I have in HIM and his working in me. So while we all struggle, the process that God is working, takes time and with time and patience we will prevail. Mark my words the next time you feel that there is no way out. God will use that very moment to teach you His truths. he is loving and wants only the best for you!