Feeling like Pilate
Today is not a good day for me. I am usually upbeat but today, I am down. Like the title says...today I feel like Pilate...as in Pontius Pilate. The crowd cheering outside, "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" while inside, Pilate takes a basin of water and washes his hands in the clean water saying. "I find no guilt in this man." After he did that, the leaders took Jesus away to crucify him.
Pilate, seeing that a riot was brewing simply took the easy way out and gave in to the crowd. A crowd which was falsely accusing Jesus of conduct deserving death. How did Pilate feel when he did this? I would think he feels much like I do now. Weak, wrong and worried.
Weak: I feel week because I did not stand up to what I KNEW to be a wrong decision. I cannot go into the exact details of this, but it makes me sick just thinking of it. May the LORD forgive me for being weak. More than this, I exalt in my weaknesses, because when I am weak, then I am strong. I ascend to this intellectually, but in practice, it seems to be a harder thing to grasp.
Wrong: To give in to a crowd who is condemning a person who is not worthy of condemnation is wrong. Plain and simple. There is no other way to look at it. This says much,much more about US than it does about the person being condemned. And what is says about US...and ME is that we ought to be examining our life and our faith...are we acting like Jesus would have acted or are we acting more like that crowd demanding the crucifiction of JESUS? Shame on us for acting more like the world we live in rather than living in the Kingdom Jesus died for. Shame on me for not being bold.
Worried: I can't help but be worried about our future. Not only in the short term, but in the long term as well. Where do we see God in all this? In the case of Jesus being crucified at least we can look back and say that is was all part of God's plan...but in this case where have let God be God? When have we trusted in His plan and when have we allowed Him to speak? Where is our trust in HIM?
I know that all things work together for good....for those who love God...who are called to HIS purpose. I KNOW that God will take this and will exalt Himself and will shame those who are looking on this as if they know better and are taking things into their own hands. But still, there is some piece of me which is saying...I could have done better...I could have done more...instead, in the end I abdicated my responsibility...like Peter, I ran and hid. Nice.
May the Lord Bless us in times of trouble and in times of Joy. May we also give Him all the glory for all circumstances. Amen.